Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Randomize
