I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
He passed out mid-signature
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
