Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
