I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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