I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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