its not stalking. its research.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
