some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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