Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
