Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Randomize
