my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I need a beard to bite.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
