honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
