I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
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