just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I wish they made helmets for livers.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
