went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
