me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
