I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Randomize
