a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
