wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
