Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
