Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
