i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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