drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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