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• (323): View more from California

  Where??

  (310): View more from California

  Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.

  (1-651): View more from Minnesota

  I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...

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• (702): View more from Nevada

  the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from

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• (804): View more from Virginia

  I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"

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• (517): View more from Michigan

  how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind

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• (406): View more from Montana

  if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner

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• (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.

  (407): View more from Florida

  Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police

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• (972): View more from Texas

  we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.

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• (573): View more from Missouri

  I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.

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