The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
