i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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