You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
