Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
