Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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