ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
