office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
