i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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