so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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