so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
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