I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
