Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I FOUND THE LEGS
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
