She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
