it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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