Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize