Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
