grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
