I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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