There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
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