Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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