And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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