He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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