it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
