dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
