I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
