I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
