i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
