We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
